Apr 2

Apr 2 Coping with coronavirus - there's no right way, just do it your way

Yesterday I woke up feeling calm and energised. Today when opened my eyes, my mood was panicky and fearful. In the course of the intervening hours I had been cheerful, angry, anxious, hopeful and worried. I had cried with fear and frustration, and had moments of laugh-out-loud fun.

And that has been pretty much the daily pattern of my emotions over the past days and weeks in which our lives have been so completely, and frighteningly, upended.

When I write all that down like that, I realise it’s no surprise that I’m knackered by the end of the day!

Whatever was considered normal has been tossed to the wind

Whatever was considered normal in terms of our feelings and behaviour in the past has been thoroughly tossed to the wind by this wretched virus. Along with, for me anyway, my concentration span (apparently now shorter than a tired toddler’s), my appetite (which swings between entirely absent and if-it’s-not-nailed-to-the-fridge-shelf-I’ll-eat-it) and my dress sense (I worry I may forget how to do up a zip by the time we’re all allowed out in public again).

A reservoir of reassurance

The many (many, many) video calls I do with my family and friends are a huge source of comfort and cheer, depending which I’m in need of at any given moment. And a much needed reservoir of reassurance that I’m not alone in my struggle to steer any kind of sane-feeling path through these storm-tossed waters.

Together we have ranted, wept and laughed; bolstered and consoled each other. We have shared virtual meals, challenging exercise classes (god bless Zoom) and endless, often laugh-out-loud, memes, gifs and videos. We have talked openly about our deepest fears and our precious, lovingly-protected hopes. We have laid bare our vulnerabilities in ways we may never have been willing, or able, to do before.

There’s no right or wrong

What is clear from all this is that there is no right or wrong way to navigate this bewildering, daunting time. And absolutely no point whatsoever in beating yourself up for whatever it is you’re feeling at any given point of the day or week. Whether that’s guilty because that there are those who have it so much worse than you. Heartbroken because there’s nothing you want more than to hug your absent loved ones even though you know that’s keeping them and you safe. Frustrated because you haven’t (yet) even embarked on all those projects you promised yourself you would. Or infuriated because your partner hasn’t either!

My best advice

If I have any advice at all for you it is, above all else, to be kind to yourself. Allow your tears, fears and laughter to course through you freely. I’m no psychologist, but I’ve had enough counselling over the years to know that bottling emotions in does a lot more harm than good. What I know for sure is that the hard ones will pass, and the happy ones will buoy you up.

Grab at gratitude

It’s difficult to say this without sounding banal or corny, but reach for as much gratitude as you can stuff into your hands and hearts. The warm, dry roofs we have over our heads. The clean water that comes out of our taps so we can wash our hands the way we need to. The food that still fills our supermarket shelves. The technology that enables us to feel together even when we’re apart. And all the brave, selfless, dedicated people who are working tirelessly to care for us all.

That’s what I’m going to keep trying to do.