Jun 28

Jun 28 Why I'm happy to look my age

I’ve never been anything other than honest about my age (63 since you ask). Losing people I have loved too young has made me all the more aware of what a privilege it is to get older, and all the more grateful for every day I get to enjoy my, yes obviously ageing, body and face.

Which is not to say I don’t, at times, rail against the aches and pains that make themselves increasingly insistently felt as the years go by, and the developing lines and sagginess that reflect back at me in the mirror. Or that I don’t get a flash of flattered pleasure when someone says they think I look younger than I am.

But my years at the helm of Women’s Weekly and the M&S Magazine, and my time working on Good Housekeeping confirmed again and again, that the vast majority of older women - and men - share the same view as me when it comes to how we look as we age.

And that is that we’re not interested in looking younger than we do. What we want is to look - and feel please - the best we can for the age we are, the person we have become and the life we have been fortunate enough to lead.

Now a new social media campaign launched by the brilliant award winning campaign, community and creative consultancy, Ageism is Never in Style (check out their fantastic work HERE), is reinforcing and hoping to spread that message.

#ilookmyage is challenging, not just the fact that there is no right or wrong way to look at any given age, but also the lack of realistic representation of older people - particularly women - which has warped wider perceptions of what ageing should and does look like. Which in turn feeds into ageist attitudes and the ageism that is still far too widespread in society, business and culture.

I’m not going to clamber up onto my soap box about those broader issues. I’ve written in the past about the need to CHALLENGE AGEISM , so I won’t repeat myself (which I realise may well be a first). But I do want to take a moment to shine a, carefully angled, light on the darker side of attitudes - our own and those of others - towards the visible manifestations of ageing.

In the early days of Heydays, I wrote THIS BLOG about the fact that cosmetic giant Lancome unceremoniously dumped Isabella Rossellini as the face of their brand when she was 42, because she was too old (they didn’t phrase it exactly like that obviously) and then, presumably finally realising that seeing an, albeit especially beautiful, older woman in their imagery might actually persuade other older women to buy their products, duh, rehired her when she 65.

Isabella Rossellini, dumped by Lancome at 42, then rehired at 65

And in THIS BLOG I took issue with the notion that grey hair should be seen, particularly for women, as an unacceptable sign of ageing and therefore something to be be avoided at all - and generally bloody expensive - cost.

More recently actress Andie McDowell has been very vocal about the backlash she faced for ‘allowing’ her fabulous long curly hair to go fabulously grey (something that, can we note, doesn’t seem to be a problem for L’Oreal, who continue to use her as one of their ‘I’m Worth It’ representatives).

Andie McDowell has no truck with anyone who says her grey hair makes her look old.

Andie’s response to comments that her grey hair makes her look older perfectly sum up my, and I know many other people’s, feelings about and approach to ageing. “How old do you think I look?” the actress said. “You know I’m going to be 65? What, do you think I look 75 just because I let my hair go grey? I don’t care. I want to be old. I’m tired of trying to be young. I don’t want to be young. I’ve been young.”

Can we please give that a standing ovation.

Because that’s the thing, isn’t it? There’s so much else in life that we can expend our energy and time on that matters SO much more than how we look. For me that list starts with my wonderful family and friends, and extends to time devoted to the work I love and the causes I care about, and making sure I attend to my own health and wellbeing.

Yes I’m not going to stop doing my best to look my best. I’ll continue to be amongst the first in line to try out all the new developments in beauty products aimed at older complexions and skins. And I’ll be just as enthusiastic in my efforts to corral my insistently frizzy hair as it gets ever more grey (hurrah!)

(Can we please also take a moment to give a huge round of applause to Helen Mirren, another L’Oreal stalwart who said this about getting older and the beauty industry: “I love the word swagger because I think swagger means I’m more confident in myself….I’m enjoying the world around me. I think what’s called the beauty industry should be called the swagger industry. We’re giving people swagger.”)

But no, I refuse to devote even a nano-second of time to being even remotely concerned about anybody’s opinion of, or view about, the way I look at my proudly and gratefully reached three score years and three.