Jan 16

Jan 16 This is me - 41 things I currently know about myself

Inspired by a couple of posts I’ve read recently, including THIS ONE by the never less than wonderfully readable India Knight, and prompted by the start of another year and my upcoming birthday, I felt inclined to have one of my periodic what-I-think-I-know moments. Specifically what I’ve come to understand, realise, and/or learn about myself as I land squarely in my mid-sixties.

Whilst obviously, and yes, entirely self-indulgently, this is all about me, I hope that nonetheless you’ll find it as enjoyable and interesting to read as I have to compile it. I wonder what your ‘This is me’ list would look like? Please do let me know in the comments.

1. I’ll almost certainly never manage to work through all the recipes I’ve collected, especially since I can’t stop myself adding to the collection.

2. I much prefer a meal with a handful of people than a party with lots of them.

3. But I always enjoy a chance to dance.

4. If I’m wearing any light colour I will immediately spill on it. Actually that applies to everything I wear. See below.

5. I will never manage to leave the house with everything I need. See below.

6. I will never get less clumsy. Or forgetful. The best I can hope for is that neither of these infuriating traits don’t escalate. Although they probably will.

7. I’ve given up trying to like alcohol or coffee. I just don’t.

8. I’ve totally lost the ability to walk in heels.

9. My social battery gets flat more rapidly the older I get.

10. I’m never bored or lonely in my own company.

11. I love my daughters dearly, but I adore my granddaughters beyond reason.

12. It is an inescapable truth that you can only be as happy as your unhappiest child. Or, it turns out, grandchild.

13. I’m more superstitious than I care to admit (not warding off bad luck by saluting a solo magpie would be unthinkable).

14. I’m trying to worry less and to deal with problems/issues only when they arise. That’s definitely still a work in progress.

15. I’m getting (slightly) better at not endlessly revisiting, and agonising over, things I’ve done/got wrong.

16. I increasingly dislike loud restaurants. Ditto any environment which requires you to shout to be heard.

17. I’m really, really good at hugging. I think it might be my superpower.

18. I’ll never find cleaning anything other than impossibly dull. But I bow to no man, or woman, in my love of ironing.

How could you not love something as satisfying as ironing?

19. The most heavenly thing imaginable on a cold night is getting into a bed that’s been warmed with my electric blanket.

20. It gives me the same burst of happiness, as soon as the weather is warm enough, to open up the folding doors to my lovely garden.

21. My garden affords me an inordinate amount of pleasure, but I’ll never be a truly competent gardener. Just keeping (most of) the plants alive is the best I can hope for.

22. Anywhere by, in, or on water is my happy place, whatever the weather. I start getting angsty if I haven’t seen the sea for more than two or three months.

23. I can work in a relatively noisy environment (open plan office, cafe) but not if there’s music playing (I find it impossible not to listen to the lyrics).

24. It took me until I was in my 40s to realise I enjoy live concerts and opera, though I remain resolutely useless at remembering what I’ve seen and heard..

25. I hate show offs and people who are demeaning of others.

26. I believe wholeheartedly in therapy - it has been life/sanity saving for me a number of times. But only with the right therapist. I know now that trying to stick with the wrong one isn’t helpful at all.

27. Exercise is critical to my mental wellbeing as well as my physical health.

28. Pilates has been my greatest exercise discovery. I can’t imagine life - or my body - without it.

Pic from my fab pilates studio Pilates By The Green, though not during one of my classes

29. Growing older means paying more attention to the maintenance of your health and body, not just through exercise but in getting things that aren’t right checked out promptly. I’m getting better at giving that the time it requires.

30. The challenge of learning or doing something new is really invigorating. I need to keep doing that regularly.

31. Nearly three years since starting, I realise I’ll never stop learning bridge. Only more - much more - time will tell if I actually get any better at it.

32. Travel is my rocket fuel. There’s so much I want to see and experience whilst I still can.

33. I always prefer to be outside exploring a new place or city, rather than inside a museum or gallery. But when I go round a really good one, or see a fabulous exhibition, I can literally feel the cells in my brain fizzing.

34. I really need to work at not scrolling on my phone so much and reading more.

35. Books over reading on a kindle.

36. Chicken or fish over red meat.

37. Second hand clothes over new (other than underwear obviously).

38. Dogs over cats (sorry cats).

Not a cat hater, but even more of a dog lover

39. I treasure the honesty and understanding of long time friendships. And the delight and possibilities of new ones.

40. And I love the discovery that new friends come along all through your life, in ways and at times you least expect.

41. Turning 60, five years ago, changed something in my psyche. I know it’s not (that) old. But it’s not young either. The recognition that there’s less time in the future than I’ve had in the past is becoming a louder imperative in my thoughts.